Promise

I made a promise to myself sitting at the edge of this rocky path which led to the ocean and I failed.

My life for the past 3 years has been mostly about work. I have dedicated myself to it because it gives me a reason to live, I learn and working makes me feel good. But like I said, there was this rocky path and I was sitting at the edge and I looked at the vastness in front of me. The water and sky eventually merging somewhere far.

Now you must be wondering what promise? I will tell you but come along and read it. Looking at that vastness and emptiness makes you think and reflect on life and mostly in a positive sense (or it depends). So, I sat there thinking for a long time about almost everything, my relationships with people, my way of looking at life and things that needs work.

I made a promise that I will look at life with a different lens. I would never leave or abandon my passion(s) and would certainly improve my perspective towards life. Then two days later I found myself back in my usual routine with my job and I started forgetting everything. To preserve the memory, I’d close my eyes and try and remember the waves hitting the rocks, vast blue sky and obviously the water.

That also went away, I wasn’t seeing those waves and I forgot my promise. But yet here I am on my birthday making another promise that I will act on it. I will not let myself lose in the rush of this life. In the fast moving cars and the metro. I will find my balance and I will do things my way.

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Have you had such encounters with yourself? I’d love to hear about them.

Bounce back

There is a pit, a very deep and dark pit. You are falling into it and no one knows what’s at the bottom or even if there is a bottom or an end to it. Anyway, let us for now assume there is a bottom. You will now ask me what is it? Is it something that’s gonna hold you back or is it bouncy?

What I believe is you decide about the bottom, you decide what’s it made of. Is it something that’s gonna hold you back or is it something that’s gonna bounce you back? Your mindset and beliefs decide the substance of the pit.

A person might see something as a failure and someone else might see the same thing as a challenge or as a lesson or maybe even as a phase. I have been listening to an entrepreneur and he heavily focuses on mindset and then I tried rectifying the things I’ve been doing wrong (a lot of them) and in the end, it all comes to how you perceive things.

And how you percieve things and how you react shapes your life. Also, your background, schooling, friends will play a large role but once you realize you need corrections then things kind of get on the track. I am slowly realizing that I’ve had a wrong lens. I’ve seen life largely through my prior experiences which also lead me to form pre-concieved notions.

Anyway, I am trying to change the mindset. It will take time but I will try and be persistent.

 

Lean back

You are sitting on the chair in your office questioning your existence and choices you’ve made. Little decisions that shape up your life and you realize that while trying to make things perfect you are only getting far from it. Anyway, that’s not what I intend to write today. See this is not me telling you about my job or life or if I hate it not. It is not that.

Before I take a random turn and start talking about something else, let me tell you what made me write this. I plugged in my headphones and opened Wynk app and put the music on shuffle. Then with a deep breathe I leaned back and stared upwards and closed my eyes (I did that again). Then following my habit, I looked around at my beloved colleagues some nah almost all of them busy staring at the screens which would have excel, word or LinkedIn open. And then I look at myself doing the same thing, losing that sense of freedom and burying myself in the work.

To be honest, I love working and achieving things and being busy has its own benefits. What bothers me at times is the fact that I am letting my other side go too far. You must wonder what is this other side I am talking about. I shall tell you on some fine day.

Until next time. I hope you will look forward to the next post.

Safar

woh kabhi kabhi
hota hai na
ki sab cheeze reh  
si jati hai

jaise yeh train
station se nikal rahi hai
sab kuch peeche chodte hue

andar ka mahaul kuch hai
aur bahar ka kuch


Agar aapne socha yeh ek poem hai toh aap shayad galat hai, yeh kuch bikhre hue khayal the mere socha yaha likh dun

Kaise hai aap sab?

Discarded flowers

What happens to the discarded flowers? They will never go into that bouquet that the bride receives or to that patient who is going to get discharged soon from the hospital. I saw a bunch of them lying on the ground behind the counter. Some of them were crumpled and some were broken. That made me want to compare it to humans but I just didn’t wanna do it. Because it serves no purpose and nothing ever changes.

Some are broken, some are thrown away while some get to be where they want to be. Then again they were flowers but we aren’t. We aren’t fragile as them but maybe a little sensitive and I guess that’s it.

Guzra hua ek din

Main school mai tha us samay, bachpan se hi mujhe din mai kuch waqt akele baithna pasand tha aur aksar dophar mai class ke baad mai akele baitha karta tha.

Hostel ke un dino main, ghar ki kaafi yaad aati thi, jaise dophar ko kabhi sogaya toh ghar ki yaad mai baaki din beet jaya karta tha. Ek class ki khidki se road ki side dikhta tha, us class ko hum Doon class kehte the. Waha aksar kuch bache khelte the, gaadiyan aati thi aur chali jaati. Main bas waha akela khidki ki taraf baith kar dekha karta tha.

Ab woh din chale gaye hai lekin tab lagta tha ki kab niklunga yaha se aur kab jaunga bahar. Pata nahi aaj kyun achanak mujhe woh din yaad aaya aur woh mere akele baith kar sochne ki adat bhi.

 

 

Waqt

Bahut ho chuka hai waqt
Yeh sochte hue ki aur
Log kya sochte honge mere baare mai

Dosto mere ab mujhe jeene do
Thoda sa mann se jeene do

Rehne do jaisa hun mai
Karne do jo lagta sahi hai mujhko

Bahut ho chuka hai waqt
Dosto mere ab mujhe jeene do


Loved by one

They made you believe
Believe that
Love was everything
You needed to survive

The love they talked about
Was the one
Where you were desired
Not by all
Not by yourself
But by just an individual

They thought
They had it all figured out
And you believed them
And then you loathed yourself

You went on to the journey
To find that one
But never learned
To love yourself Continue reading

Hits you at the strange time

These days I’ve been looking for inspiration everywhere. I would walk to work and think and wait for some inspiration to hit me but that didn’t really happen.
So this morning I’m walking to office and as I’m about to enter the building I look up and I see this eagle circling just above the building. And that was enough to give me this idea to write something on it, wasn’t exceptional though but it counts. So, I went upstairs and took my pen and found a page and wrote whatever I had in mind. I’ll work on it and might upload it here.

What about you? Did anything similar happened to you recently or ever?

Can’t teach

image

I haven’t written for a long time. A little note I wrote which might make sense. The key word here is might. Anyway let me know. And I hope you all have been great, let me know.