Promise

I made a promise to myself sitting at the edge of this rocky path which led to the ocean and I failed.

My life for the past 3 years has been mostly about work. I have dedicated myself to it because it gives me a reason to live, I learn and working makes me feel good. But like I said, there was this rocky path and I was sitting at the edge and I looked at the vastness in front of me. The water and sky eventually merging somewhere far.

Now you must be wondering what promise? I will tell you but come along and read it. Looking at that vastness and emptiness makes you think and reflect on life and mostly in a positive sense (or it depends). So, I sat there thinking for a long time about almost everything, my relationships with people, my way of looking at life and things that needs work.

I made a promise that I will look at life with a different lens. I would never leave or abandon my passion(s) and would certainly improve my perspective towards life. Then two days later I found myself back in my usual routine with my job and I started forgetting everything. To preserve the memory, I’d close my eyes and try and remember the waves hitting the rocks, vast blue sky and obviously the water.

That also went away, I wasn’t seeing those waves and I forgot my promise. But yet here I am on my birthday making another promise that I will act on it. I will not let myself lose in the rush of this life. In the fast moving cars and the metro. I will find my balance and I will do things my way.

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Have you had such encounters with yourself? I’d love to hear about them.

Observing someone

There is a guy in his early 20’s in the metro, he is reading a book and is engrossed in it. He is thin and wears baggy jeans and a shirt that looks faded. There is a bag on the floor between his legs and he is facing the window but he is not paying attention to anything but his book.

Metro for several stations has been underground and now it emerges to an elevated track and the surroundings change with sun filling the whole metro coach with light. Suddenly, it feels like that others also exist. The guy with the book looks up and stares outside the window, he is thinking about something. He then places his thumb on the page and closes the book and looks on to his right for a while and then on to the left and then gets back to his book.

Something must have caught his attention and I guess it was that metro coach he was in today was silent and not as crowded as they usually are at that time. He must have been wondering what was the reason behind that silence and where were those people who usually talked or laughed loudly.

I see him every day, I am him.

Continue reading

Lake

StandingĀ on the edge of the lake
In the middle of the night
With no one around
He stares at the road
On the other side of the lake

The lights on the road are dim
The reflection
Makes the scene
Looks like a painting

And he just stares
Endlessly,his gaze fixed
On the road
Waiting for something
That may or may not come.

Talking about other perception of the same scene.I actually had this wild imagination while I was really there.I could see some creatures emerge out of the black silent water,I could almost hear someone breathing under the skin of the calm water.Nothing happened but I headed back to the room suppressing my thoughts.This scene I describe is from December 2013 and it is still clear like it happened yesterday.
(after finally spending over an hour,I’m gonna post it,delaying it since sunday)

– jafarrehman@hotmail.com