What next?

I am done reading a couple of pages and it is time for me to sleep. It is way beyond my usual time. My body aches and demands some sleep but I just don’t want to go to bed. I ate well but my stomach is churning acid and my mouth is dry and the bottle is nearby but I don’t want to reach out and take the bottle.

On my left, you will find a book I bought a couple of years ago called ‘Neglected Poems Gulzar’ and it is one of my prized possessions. On my right, the lamp sits on a stack of books. These books include titles that talk about Ghalib, Kaifi Azmi, Khalil Gibran and a few more. I randomly pick them up and read. The stack is kept in a very weird manner and I want it to be like that. I want things to start looking weird now, not in order. This desk/table that I am sitting on is not mine so I can’t really shift things. I want to get rid of this paperweight and a calendar that has fancy quotes for every date. They irk me at times but I mostly ignore them, like they are not even there.

Below ‘Neglected Poems Gulzar’ is my diary. A spiral ruled notebook with a simple brown cover. It is dear to me because I have written a great deal of stuff in it which involves both good and bad. I have planned things, made notes and also tried doing some analysis. All in the hopes of making life better.

So, I am supposed to sleep but I cannot and instead I am writing this entry. Not using a pen and my diary today. Since this is so random, I thought the laptop would be a better option and I brought both these things to the table an hour and a half ago.

Now I am running out of things to say but I feel uneasy today since the evening. I felt the same way day before yesterday and I am not good at math but tomorrow should be nice (going by this logic). My throat burns now and I think the best way to deal with it would be to sleep. I shall pray that I sleep soon today and forget this whole feeling and also hope it doesn’t come back on waking up in the morning. It usually does. It finds a way somehow.

Time to close this but before I go I must ask you (people around the world) that how are you doing? These are difficult times and I know it can suck and you can feel pretty weird and alone and whatnot. But seriously, how are you guys doing?

Let me know. Until next time.

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